Millions of ambitious Black Women juggle careers, aspirations, and constant pressure to achieve. But what if there was a guide to navigate the chaos, silence your inner critic, squash those limiting beliefs, and unlock your brilliance?
You Get to Write Your Story
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Happy August, my beautiful beings. I hope your weather has been more enjoyable than mine in New York City. Hot, humid, thunderstorms, and flooding, all on the same day! 🥵 I’m not sure if you recall, but in June, I mentioned Summer as my least favorite season but didn’t explain why. Then, someone was sleep-deprived in July and barely got out the newsletter. Well, here’s the backstory. “A wise woman wishes to be no one’s enemy; a wise woman refuses to be anyone’s victim.” ― Maya Angelou My views of what it meant to inhabit my body were constantly determined. See, I grew up surrounded by a supercritical aunt and grandmother. Coupled with a body that underwent a growth spurt early meant I also had unwanted attention from creepy older men from a very young age. Constantly being told my body wasn’t good or thin enough while simultaneously being followed, leered at, and sexualized by adult men had my head spinning. I legit did not know, or have language to convey, that I felt unsafe in what should be safe: my body. So, my child brain (Lil Lexi) went into protective mode, and I hid under clothing. The thought was that if ‘they’ couldn’t see ‘it,’ there was nothing to criticize or sexualize. I vividly remember wearing long-sleeved baggy shirts and pants in the Summer, sweating profusely, and proclaiming to my mom, “Nope, I’m fine. I’m not hot.” Fast forward to the first Summer living in NYC, where men constantly followed me. In chatting with a friend last week about our experiences navigating the city as a Black Woman, I recalled an event in 2021 that frankly shook me (and was the impetus for purchasing bear space to carry on me at all times). There’s no need to bore you with the ‘colorful’ and profane come-on lines directed my way over the years; suffice it to say, those experiences always transport me immediately back to being a kid with nowhere to hide and feeling no sense of safety, as if I’m to blame for some loser’s lack of emotional regulation. Logically, I know that's untrue. I am not to blame, but from an emotional perspective, the feelings indicate otherwise due to programming during my formative years. And I wish, after close to 10 years of living in New York City, I could say that Summer is a breeze, but I cannot. Leaving my apartment requires mental calculations around outfit choices that frankly get old after a while. How, then, do I navigate forward since sequestering myself in my apartment for three months is not an option? A combination of things helps. Therapy (with a Black Woman practitioner), Somatic exercises, breathing exercises, mindset work, and the bear spray! 🤷🏾♀️ Also, working to feel physically strong, plus a solid determination to reclaim my right to exist within my body, despite it being ‘too big’ for society or an object to conquer for others. Translated - fuck them! I live in this body! And no one throws me out of shit I own. I do much better these days and appreciate and find gratitude that without Summer, I wouldn’t enjoy my favorite fruits—juicy, ripe strawberries, cold, crisp watermelon, succulent Georgia peaches, and tart, sweet Oregon cherries. Also, I have hope and faith that as we continue shedding light on our experiences, society has no choice but to change. Audacious Action
What I've Enjoyed This Month
I, Matter! Coaching Updates
Remember, you do not have to allow experiences to forever change who you are or how you show up. It may take time to process your feelings around the experience(s) but know that fighting for yourself is ultimately worth it. P.S. Why bear spray over mace? Mace cannot be legally shipped or sold in New York State; however, animal deterrent sprays are perfectly legal.
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Insights for the Audacious Woman
Millions of ambitious Black Women juggle careers, aspirations, and constant pressure to achieve. But what if there was a guide to navigate the chaos, silence your inner critic, squash those limiting beliefs, and unlock your brilliance?
How are we already in September, my beautiful beings? Where did the time go? Here’s hoping your Summer was all you needed it to be and that the upcoming Fall provides a nourishing and bountiful harvest. 🫶🏾 "Everything will change. The only question is growing up or decaying." ~ Nikki Giovanni Ya girl is doing a thing this month (as if that’s new news, right? 😆). Next week, I’ll join 300 Black Women business owners as we converge on the Goldman Sachs headquarters in New York City for the sixth...